8:56 am

Not planning / dun feel like doing my work I dun have the mood to do!!! Coz it really sux to look at the same old codes again n again!! Will always get a headache after looking at it! Guess I gonna read baby blue [borrow frm the library yesterday] later! Hehehe!! It can be sooo funny!! Was reading it on the train yesterday n I burst out laughing!! Hahaha!! Not sure if its becoz I am in a good mood or is it the content of the book that is funny!! Hahaha!! But its cool though can relieve stress!! Hahaha!!

Afternoon!! [After toking to the head of FYPJ]

HEY GUYS!!! I got good news to tell u I have to cum to sch tml!!! [which mean I tink I dun need to retake] Hahahahhahaha!! I am so happy!!! YES!!!! Keke I am going so out of control!! Hahahah!! Just came back frm blk L!! Went to call the tutor just now!! Hahaha!! Go all the way to blk L to use the phone coz its free.

After toking to him I feel so relieve he say to pass FYPJ doesn't mean u have to make yr program work. It is to see how u solve yr problems. Then he told me a lot of things oh n 1 thing he say was "I remember u, u r quite good at yr work I dun see y u will fail yr FYPJ".... Hahaha!! Really?? I dun believe wat I have heard summore frm a tutor!! He also ask if I am able to communicate with my supervisor!! The ans is suppose to be "no" but I told him "yes"!! Coz I scare later my supervisor will get into trouble!! So y make so much problem!!! But I tink he suspect coz he keep asking are u sure u are not keeping anything frm me?? I was like "nope"!! Hehehe!! But who cares!! Really wanna thx papa for making things turn out this way!!

Morning!!! [Before toking to the head of FYPJ]

Hey guys thx for yr concern!! Pple like char, huimei, ap...... n lots more. Know tt u guys have been trying to help me in my project asking yr fren to help and stuff really really appreciate it!! But guess I will disappoint u guys esp huimei!!! Asking yr fren to help me but I am still....

Hmmm got to call the teacher in charge [of my final year project] later!! Its abt my project I guess coz I email him yesterday asking, if I fail will I be still be posted to this stupid lab doing the same tink or sumtink else. That is where he reply saying "Can u call me I would like to tok to u"!! Wish me luck man!! I mean if u happen to read my blog pray for me yah!!!

Life have been very miserable this semester!! I am starting to hate sch or rather say have phobia going to sch everyday!! Can u imagine I dun even wan to see my tutor as in when I c him coming over to my lab I will be like "dun come here, dun come here" This feeling sux!! I am going mad soon!! Hahaha!! Didn't slp well also coz I will be thinking of my project stuff!! This will only happen when I go to bed coz b4 tt I didn't wan to think abt project at all was enjoying myself!! Hehehe!! Coz I am out of jail [tt stupid lab]. Instead of worrying abt my project I will be sooooo happy!! Hahaha!! But wen it come to my bed time tt is where tt stupid scary feeling comes!! SUX SUX SUX!!!!

C how it goes maybe after taking to the teacher in charge I will be free frm this stupid project??? I may not need to come to sch again [meaning I got to retake] tt will be soooooo COOL!!! Coz I will be relieve!! Not like I wanna retake, u think I wanna repeat this whole process again???? I really wan / need a good rest!!

Gonna disappoint all my fren liao!! Guess I gonna fail my project for sure!! Coz my tutor came over to check out on my work today!! Then he was asking questions like y am I doing this n tt! Then when he ask to let him c the codes tt I did b4 he was like is this wat u have been doing I was like yup!! Then he walk away liao!! Hai..... Tt expression tell me tt whatever I have done for the pass few weeks is wrong!! My goodness!! Feel kinda discourage lor as in I pray everyday and I believe tt he will help me but in the end nv!! But still I tell myself tt maybe I didn't pray hard enough!!!

Wow haven been blogging for almost a week..... I wanted to give up on my project yesterday!! [coz this is week 10 n next week is presentation already] Had lots of courage b4 I went up to tok to my tutor. The 1st tink I ask him was will I fail if I am not able to make the program work?? Then he ask to show him my codes. Guess wat I realize tt one of my file is gone!!! [lucky I dun have heart attack] But the tutor dun seem to believe tt the file is gone!! He give me the "yah rite" look. Sob! Sob! But now he just ask me to make my program work!! As in one of it!! So I guess I will be able to pass if I am able to make my program work!! If not I got to retake liao!! SHIT!!!!

Messages:

Aipeng: thx for all the advice and without yr encouragement I wun be toking/have the courage to approach my tutor!! Thx pal!!

Ren: thx for trusting in me!! Hehe!! Really make me wanna do my best!! [but guess u forget wat u say coz u got STM Hahaha!!] But still thx "Rennie" / "DODO"!!! (o"o)

Huizhen: thx for encouraging me tooo when I was abt to give up u are always there to pull me up n make me wanna continue to fight again!!! Lets do it together alrite!! Hehehe!!! thx "woman"!! haha!!

Hmmm haven blog since Monday!! Nothing much happen as usual rotting in sch doing tt stupid project of my!! Arrrr so irritating dunno y my program cannot work again[was working just now]!! Everything is not going smoothly!! WHY!!!!! Another testing??? Testing testing testing!!!! Sooooo frustrating!! Y cant my program just work!! SICKENING!!! Feel like giving up already!!! Was in a good mood wen I cum to sch today but after what happen to the program I feel very frustrated!!! Then the tutor cant over just now to check my work!! Then ....... Hai..... I dun wanna do this stupid project already!!! I wanna QUIT!!!! QUIT!!! QUIT!!! QUIT!!!

ZOO
How long haven u been to the Zoo?? Years, months, weeks or days?? Hahaha!! I went there yesterday with my ren!! Haha!! Weird huh go to the zoo!! Haven been there for years but it is still the same didn't change much!! But one thing weird is I dun see the giraffe!!

Hahaha!! Had a great day!! Laughing at stupid things..... Hahaha!! Sound like a kid!!! Gave nicknames like "butt face" [a monkey tt has a face tt look like a butt], "ba hu" [guess its a lama, the fur look like ba hu sooo cute!!], "kuku face beetle" [water beetle tt has a very connyified face], "gorilla cum bear" = sun bear [hahaha!! tt is wat ren called it], "jackass penguin" [this is wat the penguin is called weird name]..... Zoo is not tt bad actually!! Hahahaha!! Get to see weird animals!! Hahaha!!!

Butterflies in the stomach!!
Haven had this feeling [butterflies in the stomach becoz of project] b4 was sooo scare coz of my project!! Coz got presentation today!!! Lucky I was very tired last night if not sure can't slp!! Woke up with a stomachache guess is becoz too nervous!! Hahaha!!! When the teacher told us tt the presentation is change to tml I was like sooooo relieve..... But then I still will die tml coz I dun have much to show the tutor!!

Spiderman
Went to watch Spiderman 2 with Priscilla, Huimei and Aipeng yesterday!! Wow the show very cool!! Worth paying $6.50 to watch,I think is better then Spiderman 1!! Cool!!! ALL THE WAY MR SPIDERLY!!! Hahahahaha!!!

Broke Down
Did I mention b4 tt if another shock / something happen I will break down!! Yah!!! I broke down yesterday!! Had a good cry!! Coz I couldn't take it anymore!! Actually I feel much much much better after crying!! Now my heart is kinda relieve!! All the thinks tt happen is I cant do anything abt it wan!! Feel soooo unless sometimes!! Is like y cant I help??? Hai..... Feeling very tired now guess is becoz of crying.....

Hai.... Haven been doing anything for my project for yesterday and today coz I dunno how to do!! My tutor is not back yet!! I dun wanna ask tt stupid tutor already later kena scolding again!!! I really look down on him!!! NOT going to show him respect coz there is this "bimbo" in the lab then tink she go for 1hr break but suppose to be like only 15min he tell her nicely k [didn't even scold her!! wat is this man]!! Do something wrong nothing happen ask for help kena scolding!! I LOOK DOWN ON U!!! Sorry to say tt but guy sux!!! [Maybe not all but most of them]

BUT thx GOD for mei mei[Huimei] she say will help me ask her friend abt my project stuff!! THX!!!!

Just got scolding!! I did something wrong??? NO!!! I only ask for help!! Can u imagine ask for help and still get scolding!! Wat the....!!! Lost of words man!! Was sooo piss off with tt stupid teacher! Where got this kinda thing wan!!! I dun understand!! They should help and not glue themselves to their chair!! Take pay for nothing!!!

Conversation between us:
[Moi]: Sir I need yr help coz my Tomcat[a software] cannot work!
[Tutor]: Wats the prob!
[Moi]: The web page doesn't work [so I told him wat appear on the screen]
[Tutor]: It doesn't work mean the file in not in the folder.
[Moi]: No the file in the folder but still cant work.
[Tutor]: What u wan me to do??
[Moi]: Help lah!! Coz I dunno wat the problem is!
[Tutor]: Such a easy think also muz ask me for help
-[then he came over to look at the prob]-

End up.......
He also dunno the problem what!!! STUPID!!! He just ask me to reinstall the tink[I have done tt like dunno how many times liao]!!

SIGH!!!
Hai........... Is the word tt I have been saying to myself for the pass 2 days!! Sooooo many things happened!! Arggg!! So saddening!! Y cant everything go smoothly??? Y sooo many testing!! Even if wanna give testing y not 1 at a time but lots n lots of it?? I dun understand!!!

Hey gal if u happen to read this just wanna say do what yr heart ask u to do!! Dun have to feel bad u keep thinking for other pple what abt yrself??? They might not think for u!!! UNDERSTAND!!! Just go on with life!!! Everything will be alright.... You are the best!!!

PS: Hai!! I know I am not suppose to say tt but I just wan her to be happy and be her old self again!!! So just let her go pls....

[Thinking]: Should I post this anot!! Will anything happened? Will it affect anyone!!! Arrrggg who cares!!! I cant be bother already!!!

Had a great time with my classmates/ schoolmates today... Coz we haven had lunch together for very long already think since holiday!! Really had a great time toking to them and making fun of "HZ". Hahahah!!! As usual got scolding frm her!! But its already very good coz she only scold never hit!! Hahaha!! Guess she is too tired to hit me!! Hahaha!!!

Other then that I was damn bored in the lab again!! REALLY REALLY very sian got nothing to do. Or should I put it dis way, the things I know how to do had already done left with those I dunno. HAI!!! I just cant be free man!! Coz when I am free I will think of lots of things!! HAI!!! Its back again [tt feeling]!! Guess I gonna find things to do already, to make myself busy!! -SIGH-

I am "SUPER" bored today.... Got things to do but then just dun feel like doing!!! Feel soooo sian!! Was doing my java thing for awhile, then after that I was watching cartoon [watch the downloads from the web page] ..Hahaha!! The short clips on that webbie not bad some quite funny!! Hahaha!!
Click the link to see the webbie: Paul Frank

Got nothing much to blog today!! Coz its the usual school day which I have to stare at this stupid computer frm 830-5pm. Tutor not in school today guess next week too!! Everyone in the lab are like slacking including me!! Hahaha!! Just feel damn tired!! My eyes so tired, itchy and pain!!! Have to go and check my eye sight after this stupid project!! Sure increase!! Coz now I see thing is like kinda blur!! Hai.... Half an hour more to go b4 I can get out of this place!!

Oh next week start school already ar!! [For those who are still are still rotting at home] Hahaha!!! Call me if u got any break yah so tt I can go n have a break cum eat snake!! [coz tutor might not be in sch next week] Hahahah!!

Spoil my plan
Hai... My cousin msg me yesterday saying tt she did not manage to book the chalet!! Sad!! Was planning to celebrate my 21st at the chalet but now my plan is ruin. So was thinking what should I do now!! My mum call them [NTUC] today and the only date available is 8 Aug and it cost 125 bucks for only 1 day.... Mad I can spend the $ on other stuff man!!

Dedication
Hahaha!! Happen to find this picture frm the internet!! Priscilla [pea] this is for u!! When I look at the picture it reminds me of u!! Hahahaha!!!

HOW!!!!
I am getting more and more isolated!! Dun feel like toking nowadays!! Never been like tt b4, have experience it b4 but for 1 or 2 days. Its like a few weeks already!!! Guess its becoz of the final year project!! Coz ever since it started I have never been really happy abt it then I dun tok in the lab unless I need to ask something!!! Nowadays I guard myself more[withdrawn]!! Getting more n more depressed each day!! My mood will spoil other pple's mood??? I dunno!! I am already trying my best to make myself alive!! Coz I want the pple ard me to be happy too!! But then its difficult to control yr feeling when u are tired!!! I really dunno how!!!

Found these from the internet[Can't imagine I did this!! Just wanna find out what happen to me!!] Wow can be psychiatrist!!

Difference between Depression and Stress:

Symptoms of Depression:

* Loss of energy and interest.
* Diminished ability to enjoy oneself.
* Decreased -- or increased -- sleeping or appetite.
* Difficulty in concentrating; indecisiveness; slowed or fuzzy thinking.
* Exaggerated feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or anxiety.
* Feelings of worthlessness.
* Recurring thoughts about death and suicide.

Symptoms of Stress:

* Appears worried about many things
* Appears miserable, unhappy, tearful or depressed
* Shows little enjoyment in things
* Sheds tears over doing some things
* Has been irritable and quarrelsome
* Has been complaining of aches and pains
* Has been withdrawn and quiet
* Appears forgetful and shows poor concentration

Now I know why I have been like tt its becoz I am STRESS!! I got most of the symptoms for stress and a few for depression!! My GOD!!!